這個放了25年的蜘蛛人罐頭,恐怕就連蜘蛛人系列死忠粉絲都不敢恭維。我們都知道罐頭可以放很久,但放25年也未免太久!一名外國網友在防疫(武漢肺炎,又名新冠肺炎、COVID-19)隔離期間翻箱倒櫃,尋找食物期間意外尋獲1995年買的蜘蛛人通心粉罐頭。
Opening a wildly corroded can of Spider-Man Pasta from 1995: a thread. (1/5) pic.twitter.com/DW7w7ALMO4
— Dinosaur Dracula (@DinosaurDracula) April 16, 2020
好奇之下,網友決定秉著冒險精神打開放了25年的罐頭,看看裡面變成什麼世界。開罐的過程可說是困難重重,因為罐頭本身早已生鏽變形。
I put the can opener to work, unsettled by the rust, but emboldened by the lack of noxious fumes. I turn the knob and wince, unable to rule out the possibility that the contents have mutated into something alive & malevolent. (2/5) pic.twitter.com/IBmJXBWZI2
— Dinosaur Dracula (@DinosaurDracula) April 16, 2020
打開驚見,原本15盎司的通心粉,竟變異成3盎司的一團大便狀物,「還好我有戴手套」,他驚險表示。
They say tragedy plus time equals comedy, but there’s nothing funny about 15 ounces of Spider-Man Pasta reduced to a rotted 3-ounce chunk. Recalling the fate of Jordy Verrill in Creepshow, I’m thankful for my rubber gloves. (3/5) pic.twitter.com/W5WqQ7wEHs
— Dinosaur Dracula (@DinosaurDracula) April 16, 2020
他小心翼翼將那團物體取出,據他形容,看起來像迪士尼樂願的礦山火車雲霄飛車(Big Thunder Mountain Railroad)和《星際大戰二部曲:複製人全面進攻》(Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones)片中吉諾斯星人蜂巢的綜合體。
I carefully remove the mass, which looks like a cross between Big Thunder Mountain and one of those Geonosian hives from Attack of the Clones. (4/5) pic.twitter.com/PIchW9mdMy
— Dinosaur Dracula (@DinosaurDracula) April 16, 2020
雲霄飛車:
吉諾斯星人蜂巢:
原本該是蜘蛛人形狀的通心粉,如今變成像是岩石上的刻痕,讓他哭笑不得。最後惡搞蜘蛛人台詞表示,「抱歉啦彼得,通心粉放月久,就越無法下肚。」
I think I notice something, but consult the label on the can to be sure. Indeed, there’s poor Spider-Man, trapped in this godforsaken toxic monstrosity. I’m sorry, Peter. With old pasta comes great instability.
Thank you all for taking this journey with me. (5/5) pic.twitter.com/6UcfRcN9tz
— Dinosaur Dracula (@DinosaurDracula) April 16, 2020
(往下還有更多精彩文章!)